486

The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

State-of-the-art

Any computer you can't afford.

Obsolete

Any computer you own.

Microsecond

The time it takes for your State-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

Syntax Error

"Hello, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."

GUI ("gooey")

What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.

Computer Chip

Any starchy foodstuff consumed in mass quantities while programming.

Keyboard

The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse

An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Floppy

The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer

Hard Drive

The sales technique employed by most computer salesmen.

Portable Computer

A device invented to force business people to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

Disk Crash

A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

Power User

Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

System update

A quick method of trashing all of your current software.